"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
