its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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