The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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