At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
4 words: hood of his car
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
