I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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