It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
