Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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