I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
