We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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