I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize