Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
