I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
