I love having hate sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize