32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize