My nipple is on Facebook.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
