Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just google imaged poop.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
