Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
