Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
