so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
