Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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