The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize