So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
