I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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