Kiss
Puke
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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