u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
