I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just tell him i said nine months
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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