I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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