She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
