last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
