He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
