The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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