hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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