i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
