Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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