Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
