So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
