I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
