K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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