the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
