well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
