She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
