Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
