I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
