No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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