i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize