That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
