can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize