I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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