You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
