before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
