he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
