Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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