Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
