The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
