i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
