So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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