I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
