So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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