We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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