I'm passing your future prison.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
