Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
