idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
