im about as happy as oj after his trial
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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