i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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