I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
