I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
