He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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