I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
