Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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