but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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