Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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